Potty training accidents – Aajol

Potty training accidents

Accidents are a natural part of the potty training journey. Our responses to these accidents have an impact on the training itself as well as on their self-concept, self-esteem and their own emotional reactions to those and other failures. These are delicate situations where the child’s perception is the most important aspect. Most common reactions include:

  • “Oh no!”
  • “What have you done!”
  • “Look everything is wet/soiled now!”
  • Parents apologising to people around
  • Experiencing shame/embarrassment by the parent themselves
  • “How many times have I told you not to do that!”
  • “See you have made everything dirty, I have to clean it now!”
  • “Dirty boy/girl!”

In all the above cases and similar cases, the child may interpret it as a failure or as something that the child shouldn’t have done and may experience shame/guilt.

What if we hold our reactions and let the child react and then let the child know

  • that it’s okay and nothing is wrong
  • that the child is still moving ahead on this journey
  • that there’s nothing to be ashamed of or guilty about
  • that you love them no matter what
  • that you understand that these accidents are natural
  • that you are compassionate and loving towards them (so that they can learn to be compassionate and loving towards themselves)
  • that it doesn’t make them good/bad

(make sure you use whatever feels appropriate at each time)

What if we don’t say a word about cleaning it and do it like we do other necessary things for our child?  

Activity:

Observe what you convey to your child when these accidents happen: through your words, tone, body language and own experience of emotional reactions.

Choose what you want to convey to them.

Create scripts/dialogues which you can say to your child at these times.

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