Teaching to keep the deals that are made

One of the important aspects of integrity is teaching to keep the deals that are made. This ability comes in handy in adulthood in relationships, workplaces as well as parenting.

The common assumptions upon which we normally act are:

Children don’t understand much.

Children don’t remember things when they grow up anyway.

From these assumptions, many promises are made which are not kept.

We end up saying, “If you do this now, I will do that.” Many times we know we have no intention of doing ‘that’.

Yes, children may not remember the incidents, but the emotions they go through are wired in their brain apparatus. So they do remember how they felt when promises were broken repeatedly. They remember it through their implicit memory circuits of the brain.

On another note, when we don’t keep our deals, the behaviour that is modelled for our child is that one can make a deal fully knowing that they don’t intend to keep it. And it is okay to make a deal and not to keep it.

All of us want to cultivate the value of integrity into our children. Let’s not confuse them with our actions.

Activity:

Observe yourself when you make a promise to your child.

Check with yourself if you are making a promise you intend to keep.

Make realistic promises which you can keep.

Make sure you hold your end of the deal even if your child forgets about it.