True discipline
We all want to discipline our child. Here are some myths about discipline.
- A disciplined child is an obedient child.
- Discipline can be induced only through fear.
- Discipline is something to enforce on the child.
- Expressing too much love or giving autonomy will hamper discipline.
- Disciplined child always behaves in a way that is acceptable to adults.
There are many more. But all of these are myths and misconceptions originating in fear itself.
The external discipline which is enforced by someone else makes sure that the child acts in a way we desire out of fear and only in the presence of the ‘force’.
In fact fear has no place when it comes to true discipline. The word from which discipline originates is ‘learn’. True discipline has an internal drive, an intrinsic motivation to act at its core. It has aspects of will to act, perseverance, consistency, actual action, the meaning and joy of the entire process, among other things.
It’s much easier to model true discipline as an adult than to model or enforce the myth of discipline.
Activity:
Reflect on what you think discipline means.
When you try to enforce discipline on yourself do you feel an internal resistance, a will to not continue, a drive to avoid, a motivation to forget, a lack of joy? What can true discipline look like for your child?