When a one year old shouts
“Shhhhhh…”
“Don’t shout!”
“No shouting!”
“Look at that other child. Is he shouting? No. Don’t shout.”
“Look she is a good girl, she doesn’t shout, she is quiet.”
“What’s wrong with you? Why are you shouting?”
These are some of the responses some parents give to their shouting child.
Babies may shout for many reasons.
- They may be hurt.
- They may be trying to express their discomfort.
- They may be asking for your (much needed) attention.
- They may be trying to say ‘no’ to something.
- They may be shouting to show you something interesting.
- They may shout out of excitement.
- They may be experimenting with their ability to produce voice.
- They may be imitating someone around them.
- They may be shouting because they feel like doing it.
Whatever the reason, we might not feel comfortable with them doing that because of the distress we may feel hearing them shout or because we want them to learn to maintain social decorum or we want others to not think of them as a bad child and us bad parents. But when we give any of the above responses, we don’t focus on the needs of our child. We also inhibit their free expression in doing so.
Let’s learn to step away from our conditioned responses and try to find out why the child shouts. We can then work towards removing their discomfort or giving them the needed attention or join them in their excitement or witness them experiment and so on.
Activity:
Next time your child shouts, observe how your mind and body react to it.
What do you say to your child when it comes to them shouting in social settings?
What expectation do you hold from your child when it comes to them shouting in social settings?
How can you join your child or pay attention to a need or simply witness your child’s explorations lovingly.